Category Archives: Uncategorized

by

He was my first…celebrating anniversaries.

I published this originally two years ago…thought it was worthy of another read- 2015

I know that today is the 50th anniversary of the assassination of JFK. I was not personally impacted. I was not born for another 7 years, and I have no memories of the event. I know the importance, and the impact, as a student of history books knows things. I have a friend who wrote about his personal journey and the impact of hearing the news of the death of the President, sitting in a room of Southern 4th grade kids. Read about it on my friend Michael’s blog, the title of the article is “We Cheered…God help us, we did.” That should get your attention.

50 years ago, however, another man died as well. He has impacted my life in countless ways, even though I still wasn’t born for 7 years after his death. I know him, though, not as a character in text books, but as a living grandfatherly voice in my walk of faith.

cs_lewis_writing

C.S. Lewis was the first author who grabbed not only my attention, but my imagination. He understood the wonder that is around us, and his imagination fueled stories that have inspired so many of us. That is not a trifle.

We need imagination. We need wonder. We need those who can be in our midst who are filled with wisdom and yet can translate that wisdom through stories which capture the heart of children as well as adults.

“Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage.” – On Stories: And Other Essays on Literature

jack

Stories are not an extra in our lives; they are a necessity. Our homeschool format is heavy on fiction. We study history, we learn our math and languages. We study science. But we fill our souls with stories which pull all those truths into a focus textbooks cannot achieve. Stories remind us we have a place, and that there are those around us who feel the same things we feel: who fear and wonder and get excited just as we do.

He mixed the innocence and wonder, and the hopes and fears and thrill of adventure, that is so raw in our childhood with wisdom which reminded us there is great depth and the imprint of the Father in the story.

“Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” – The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

Lewis understood stories. He understood relationships and he reminded us of simple things that we sometimes take for granted or are prone to ignore. He wrote in a way we could understand.

 “The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal.” -The Weight of Glory

He gave us words that help to convey the wonder of faith. He helped us find a voice.

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” -Mere Christianity

And….he knew what it was to suffer. He knew what it was to love and to lose someone. He understood pain because he had walked through pain, not because he simply thought about it.

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – The Problem of Pain

jack-joy3

“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain.” – Collected Letters

So, today is a day of anniversaries. They evoke memories and conversations about where we were and how the event impacted us. They evoke conversations about what has happened since the event. They are our markers as we make our journey, and they are the opportunity to reflect and realize where we need to repent and rejoice.

Sometimes, they are simply the opportunity to recognize the gifts we have had in our lives. Lewis opened my imagination, then captured my desire to learn. He was the one who inspired me to read and to think and to write. For that I am so grateful, and today we will talk about the power of our words as I sit around the kitchen table for three young men who have imaginations eager for stories.

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen — not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -Is Theology Poetry

If you’d like to read a bit more about Lewis today, check out the following links:

BBC Profile on Lewis

Guardian article about a paper saved from a fire in Lewis’ home.

Anglican article about 50th anniversary

Official C.S. Lewis website

by

The Light Still Shines…in our brokenness.

I wrote last time about how sometimes we get overwhelmed, and sometimes it seems like we are the ones with the dirty dishes while everyone else is posting shiny wonderful things on Instagram and FaceBook…and I received more shares on that post than any other I have written. Friends…so many of us are feeling overwhelmed and a little bit scared and a little bit frustrated and a little bit angry. We relate, and yet we don’t always want to say that we are on edge or that we are overwhelmed.

We are living in a broken world and that takes a toll on us. We are faced with those we love who are in bodies that are broken and hurt, we are faced with a world where there are people who are overcome by evil and seek to destroy. We are faced with pain and sometimes that is scary and frustrating and overwhelming, and it spills out into our everyday life. Sometimes  it spills out in us yelling at our kids, sometimes it spills out us being stressed, sometimes it spills out in us acting out in ways we would never imagine we could. Sometimes it spills out in us running to God. 

We need to not be shy anymore, because when we try to push that down, it just grows. We need each other.

In the past at our church I have served on our hospitality team. We provide meals when people have babies, or when they are sick, or just when they need that extra boost. I have loved doing it, and when I can I still help. Life has been a little more crazy with the homeschool adventure, so I haven’t been able to pitch in as often, but I know our hospitality team still thrives and provides, literally, hundreds of meals a year.

When I had Madeleine I ended up with quite a bump medically afterward, and the meals that came in were a great help. Just not having to worry about what to get on the table for the other three kiddos and Steve was a blessing. More than that though, it was an awareness that others were paying attention that I was in need. Of course, having a baby is a celebratory need, and often on the hospitality team we are providing meals for people who are dealing with battling cancer or with other illnesses. They are sick and they need that encouragement and help of being cared for by the community. Providing food is one of the most elemental and nurturing things we can do as a community…there is something so intimate about cooking a meal and delivering it. Time is taken and there is an awareness to the person who is receiving the food that they are truly cared for.

Sometimes, though, there are things in life that wear us down and are awkward, or more than awkward, and people are not sure how to help. Sometimes the brokenness comes through in ways that makes us want to look away because it makes us uncomfortable. I read an article on Slate that powerfully brought this point across.
Cancer. Babies. We know these things…

Depression. Anorexia. Mental Illness. Addiction.  We are not sure what to do.

Here’s the thing, though. What if we noticed that more. What if we noticed that the brokenness of our friends around us was more than they could handle at the moment. What if the brokenness of their children was an uncomfortable brokenness…

What if instead of looking away, or smiling politely and trying our best to avoid the topic, we brought meals and asked specifically how they were? Not just when they are on the list at church for the hospitality team,  but just when they look frazzled at the store? What if we brought over a latte to that friend whose son has falling into addiction and she simply doesn’t know what to do? What if we sat with her even if we don’t have the words? What if we went and sat with the friend who is feeling overwhelmed with keeping up house and has the parent who is ill and feels overwhelmed with the thought of caring for aging parents?

Because, I have a hunch that part of why we don’t want to look at brokenness that is uncomfortable is because we know that it is the same brokenness that is part of us.  And that terrifies us.

It is much easier to put pretty bandaids on and pretend that we are whole, than to look at the brokenness and realize that we need a savior.

Oh, but friends….the thing is, the flip side is that the hope for the broken-hearted is the same as well.

We have to believe that.

We have to speak that hope outloud and not turn away from our friends who are caught in loneliness and fear and anger and, sin.

You, right now, are loved of God. You are precious in His sight and you are loved. You are not forgotten, no matter how badly broken life seems, and He is your hope.

Even if you have been so overwhelmed, so confused by the way life has played out that you have made choices that now you are not sure about…even then…God still is your hope.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

by

I See You!

Nope, we didn’t get the birthday shout-out we were hoping for. It is not because we didn’t try. I tweeted pictures of Nate to Taylor Swift and I harassed my friends to re-tweet the pictures. We knew it was a long-shot, but it never hurts to ask.

What impressed me the most was how Nate took it in stride. We were sitting in the nose-bleed section. I mean wayyyy up high. We still could see, but we no where near the stage. Nate smiled and said he liked the seats. I told him not to get his hopes up about a Birthday shout out and he said there were no worries. When we walked out at the end of the concert into a deluge of rain with no chance at the “Club Red” to meet Taylor, Nate simply said, “You know, I thought I would really want to meet her…but I don’t. I just really liked the concert and now I’m happy and ready to go home.”

Before that he had had a headache. The music had been loud and he had a moment of being overwhelmed just as she came out. We were surrounded by screaming young teen girls. Truly, literally screaming girls. The lights went down, the stage lit up and the music began pounding. Nate’s head went down and the tears welled up. The screaming began all around us and the tears rolled down his cheeks.

He handed me his iPod and asked if I would film as he plugged his ears. I was heart broken for my boy. His buddy sitting next to him looked concerned. I looked around at all these screaming girls and I wondered who would be the woman in years to come who would love this boy. As I listened to these girls scream as Taylor sang about love, I wondered about this boy who feels so deeply and is so impacted by sights and sounds…by hopes and expectations.

I whispered a prayer that his first concert wouldn’t end with tears, and God was gracious. The screaming abated and the boy came out of his shell. He even danced a little and sang a few songs. My prayers deepen as I think of who will care for this very deep soul as he grows.

NateERin

I know tonight was “just” a concert…simply part of a birthday weekend…and yet it is part of a childhood, and as such, part of a forming.

Sometimes we say no.  Sometimes we say wait, or sometimes we say that whatever the latest craze or the latest want or the latest drama is…is something that is unnecessary or is simply wrong.

Sometimes though…sometimes we look them dead in the eye and we say yes. We say absolutely. I will paint your hair red and I will drive you around town and jump out of the car and take goofy pictures. I will tweet them and harass my friends and make them tweet them. I will post them and I will repost them and I will do my best to help you win that certain something that means something to you.

I will help you in any way I can, and if it makes me look silly or ridiculous or altogether undignified, so what.

Sometimes, we look them dead in the eye and we let them know that we see them and we hear them and we understand and we are right there with them. That doesn’t always mean we win. That doesn’t mean we get the prize, or the shout-out or the meet-and-greet.

It does, however, mean we get the experience, and it does mean that we paid attention. It does mean that they know we saw them. It does mean that those times when we have to say no, the times when we have to teach them that we don’t always get to do what we want to, it is not because we didn’t hear them or see them…it is because we do. We see them well and we know what they can become. We see the beyond the moment we are in, and we know what they can become, and sometimes we have to say no. It is easier to hear that when they know we aren’t just ignoring them, though.

Tonight was a good night. We didn’t get a shout-out. We sat in the nose-bleeds. We had headaches and were in the midst of screaming girls. But it was still a great night, filled with friendship and laughter. Those of you who helped tweet and retweet in the hopes of a shout-out…you can help with a true birthday shout out over on FaceBook if you know Nate. Come by and wish him a Happy  Day over on my page!!

by

Pay attention. And eat your veggies!!

I have written multiple times here about paying attention.  I probably have written so many times about the topic because I need the reminder.

I need to tell myself to pay attention.

When we decided to begin teaching the boys at home last year, I knew I needed to pay attention. See, I am not disciplined. I am easily distracted.

FaceBook is mental candy for me. Games. Short updates on multiple friends. Pictures and links to interesting articles. And then of course Pinterest.  I love FaceBook. I love the connection to such a diverse grouping of my friends. I love seeing the pictures of their families growing through the years, seeing marriages and births. Mourning through deaths. Rejoicing through victories. It really is a rather remarkable social connection.

Especially to a stay-at-home mom who has limited interaction with adults and friends.

And yet…

I find myself distracted and I find myself wanting to check in on what is happening with friends, wanting to play the games and wanting to post something interesting.

I find that I check in on the computer in between talking to the kids about history or Bible. I’ll take a few minutes to check something, and I’ll look and find that a few minutes has become fifteen, has become thirty.

Did I mention I am not the most disciplined person?

I find myself not paying attention where I need to pay attention. I need to look at the little ones who are looking to see if I am “liking” the tower they just built out of blocks, the amazing mess they just made with baking soda. Have I commented on their latest story?  See where I’m going?

Bayfield

There is more though.  This year I have begun developing some of my own curriculum. Specifically Bible. I am enjoying the process, and also realizing how much time I need to devote to the project. Quite a lot, it turns out.

More than that, though.

We can’t grow on candy.  I love mental candy. I love playing games like Candy Crush and Tetris. I love watching my favorite shows. I love catching up on life in snippets. I don’t grow on these things, though.

I grow on being stretched and challenged and reading deeply. That simply cannot be rushed. That requires paying attention. But, oh my does that feed the soul. And the mind. That makes me feel alive, makes me think more deeply and quickly…that gives me something to give to the kids in teaching them.

That makes me more present. That makes me pay attention.

So. I turned off FaceBook. Took the apps off my phone and iPad. Logged off on the computer. Turned off the distraction. I have not shut off my account, but I have minimized the distraction. Sometimes it is allowable to have a little candy. Even a little Candy Crush.  Plus, When I post articles here on the blog they post on my FaceBook page, so I’ll be somewhat present that way.

This school year, however, I want to be present to the kids. I want to pay attention to them. I want them to know they have my focus.

photo

Part of that is feeding my soul and my mind so I have something to give them each day. Part of that is turning off the distractions so I am not looking away when they are looking to see if I am watching them.

Part of that is simply being more disciplined.  It is no great revelation, no amazing fact. I am not saying anything staggering. I’m actually just saying I need to grow up a little, it really is as simple as that. Growing up a little, paying attention, being intentional and turning off the distractions. Yep. That’s the vision for this year.

Less candy. More meat and veggies.