Category Archives: Family

by

Plans to do….something great.

The other night we were hanging out at the inline hockey rinks. Zachary had requested his birthday party simply be hanging out with his hockey buddies and playing hockey. After a weekend of…playing hockey. The kids loved it, though, and we played until it got dark. Then we pulled out glow sticks and attached them to the kids helmets and sticks, and we used glow-in-the-dark balls instead of pucks. I parked the truck next to the rink and would “charge” one of the balls with the headlights while the kids used the other one.

One of the parents standing with us mentioned that this would be one of the memories of the kids of their summer. Mom standing there charging up glow-in-the-dark balls while the kids played as long as possible. They didn’t even want the chocolate cake…they just wanted to play.

The parent’s comment caught me, though. I’ve been thinking ever since:

“What will the kids remember?”

Will it stand out in their minds that when they came downstairs I was distracted and on the computer; focused on the lives of others while they waited for my attention? I hope not. I’ve been more present to them and more intentional this summer about doing things. Enjoying them and enjoying the wonder that is summer as a kid.

Things like:

Catching Lightning Bugs (love living in the south)

June 2013 3

Playing with Baking Soda, Vinegar and Food Coloring

Maddievolcano4Maddievolcano1

Snowcones!

June 2013 9June 2013 10 June 2013 11

Water Balloon fights

June 2013 4 June 2013 5 June 2013 6 June 2013 7

Baby Pools!

June 2013 8

Dinners with an abundance of color and flavor

June 2013 13

What will they remember?

Staying up late, sleeping in, laughing and giggling.

Road trips to New Mexico.

Running outside and the feel of grass on bare feet.

Snow cones and swimming pools.

They will remember I was there and Steve was there.

They will not remember how clean the house was or if the laundry was done on time. They will not remember if the bed was made.

Lord, help me remember that those things need to be done without taking over. Help me remember to just enjoy these days.

Help me remember that these little souls are eager for affection and attention. Help me to remember that their wonder only takes a little encouragement to blossom.

Simple things. Attention. Intention. Just being present.

They laugh at me that I take pictures of our food and of them eating snow cones…but I know these days will be gone before I am ready. Taking pictures is part of my way of holding on to the moment.

I want them to know how to play and use their imaginations, but I think more than that, I just want to enjoy them. In my enjoyment I think they find a security and a confidence to just be themselves…and know that is enough.

So, this summer is all about memories of lazy things and “unimportant” things.

I have no plans to achieve great things this summer…I have plans to wear pajamas until noon and have tickle fights.

I have plans to whisper in their ears throughout the day that they are loved.

I have plans to lay in bed with them and read books.

 

I have plans to listen to them.

I have plans to look at the stars and tell them of a God who is filled with creativity and imagination…and that they are made in His image.  To remind them that they are loved by this God…that He delights in them and their laughter and their wonder. To point around them so that they can learn to look with wonder and hope and awareness.

Maybe I do have big plans after all. 

by

Delighting in the Littles….

I am not sure how many times lately I have mentioned that it is a rainy Monday. Beginning to feel a little like when we lived in Vancouver! Still, I enjoy a rainy Monday; it seems to let me settle in slowly. This is our last full week of school, which means a busy time, but also an exciting time.

This is also, for us, the season of birthdays. Our youngest boy turned 7 a couple weeks ago and we had his party with friends this weekend. Again, it was raining, so the party was indoors…filling the house with rambunctious and giggly boys. It was wonderful!

IMG_1677

We have two more birthdays coming in May…our oldest and our youngest.  More celebrations and balloons and parties.

More delighting in our kids.

I have found myself doing that a lot lately. We’ve had our moments where they’ve been frustrating and where we’ve had to discipline, but I have found myself truly enjoying them lately.

And I noticed something this weekend: in my delighting in my kids I had a deep sorrow and awareness of all the babies who were greeted with terror at the hands of Gosnell.  Each baby I have seen in the last few weeks has brought the horrors of his story to mind, and great sorrow.

I have read some about him, and I have been absolutely sickened. I have a friend who survived an abortion, and each time I read about these innocents who were painfully murdered…I think of my friend, Gianna. I think of her fiery life and I think of the joy and delight she brings into my life and many others.

I think of the light she brings into the world.

And I think, and wonder, what we have lost with all these who have been killed. Gosnell is the horrific extreme. I cannot imagine the callousness of the soul that is able to kill babies who are crying and struggling to live…again, and again. I am struck, however, by the reality that this is the same thing that happens in the sterile clinics and when the abortion is done ‘correctly’. I have many friends who are in support of a woman’s choice, and I understand their decision and their thinking.

I understand, but I do not agree.  I am so deeply grieved, and angered, by Gosnell…but he is just the story that has been highlighted. The same choice to end life happens so continuously…and I wonder what grief it bears on the Creator. I wonder what these littles would have been…I wonder what we have missed. What laughter and delight, what joy and light, what imagination and what brilliance we have lost.

My mother and dad were faced with the choice. The doctor encouraged my mother to abort me; she had had several miscarriages and there was concern for her life. There was legitimate reason in the medical mind to terminate my life.

My folks said no. And here I am.

And I know that there is so much tied up in this discussion. So many issues…and so many failings on all our parts. As a church we have not excelled at caring for those who were terrified by the reality of a life for which they would be responsible. Some who have simply chosen freedom rather than responsibility, and done so callously. And some who have been so broken by the decision…and they need to be cared for and loved and extended grace. So many issues. But Gosnell….oh, my soul.

So, on a rainy Monday as I listen to my littles waking I am wearied by this brokenness around us. This pain and this loss, and this horror. In the midst of that…I continue to hold for hope and know that God still is working. That there are still stories of the redeemed and the made whole.

I look at my littles and I rejoice that they are filled with life and with imagination and with hope….and I delight in them and whisper a prayer of thanks that they are here. That I am here. I whisper a prayer for those who are tormented by a decision and those who are facing a decision with great fear and confusion. Lord, have mercy.

IMG_1704

by

Sunroof open, music blaring, taco eating kind of day!

Okay, if you were out today and saw a big blue truck go by and were suddenly assaulted by loud music accompanied by, well, less-than-perfect singing….I apologize.

Today has been a fantastically restoring day. The kids went to their tutorial, and I…to the coffee shop. I started out at Bongo Java, where I read and journaled and sipped coffee.

20130319-140151.jpg

FRom there I headed to Mas Tacos por favor…

20130319-141112.jpg
This is in a neighborhood where, well, my Mom in her sane days probably would not have wanted to frequent. I walked in and there was a man in line with his wife, who I probably would have avoided if I had Maddie with me. He was missing one leg, and was blind in one eye. He was black. When it was time for him to pay his $18 tab he found it they don’t take cards. He was going to have to walk (on crutches, missing a leg) to a nearby ATM. I am not exactly in the position of lots of extra cash at the moment….but I had enough in my pocket to buy his and his wife’s meal if I was careful with my meal. So I did.

He turned around and thanked me, and blessed me. This rather disheveled, crippled man said, “God bless you, Sarah.” He had asked my name. And I knew very clearly that I had made the right decision and it didn’t matter if I only got one taco.

Then I ordered and the place gave me my meal for free. And I was blessed….and the day continued to revive my soul.

I needed today.

I have been diligent in getting through the tasks of the day, but I have done so with little joy and with more stress because I was viewing the day from the view of tasks to be accomplished. Today was all about enjoying the moment and the place. Today was about a playlist selected specifically for songs that could be played loudly and sung along to with vigor…the kinds of songs that require the windows to be lowered and the sunroof open.

The kids need this version of me…the fully awake, ready to embrace the day me. I know that I will not be able to be is person everyday…but that doesn’t mean I don’t seek it and try to be in this space.

There is so much they will learn about the evil that is in our world…so much about atrocities and hurt that we have committed. I cannot teach them history without their learning these things. Right now though, in these moments where they are still innocent…now is the time to flood them with wonders and joys and glorious things that grab their attention, so that when they face the atrocities they have wonder to balance things.

So. On the list for the rest of this week…for the rest of the school year…more giggles, more dance parties with songs that get their blood pumping and require singing along. More play along with the math and the language. More stories that spark the imagination. More trips to the park. More joy…more intentional seeking out of joy.

by

Messy Mondays meet….I don’t know

I cannot think of a catchy title to convey the idea of Intentional Mondays. Um. Not Motivational Mondays, because…well, just because. Absolutely not Momentous Mondays because that is just intimidating and Mondays are rarely momentous for me.

Awhile back I wrote about Messy Mondays. Mondays have become a bit of a challenge for me in the homeschool experience; I’ve realized how difficult it is to switch gears from the laid back weekend mode to school mode on Monday morning. Our weekends tend to be busy, so that also means the house needs attention on Mondays. Plus the menu for the week. Oh, and the lesson plans. The dog usually realizes he was neglected over the weekend as well…and the needs start becoming apparent quickly.

Sometimes it is difficult to find that few moments of silence to start the morning with some focus. I’m very thankful for a rainy Monday today and kids still sleeping, and good coffee. The quiet is welcome and gives me a few moments to read and to adjust my thinking and my attitude to what is required for today.

Today I am aware that the description I just gave for Mondays is frighteningly typical of my life. I fly by the seat of my pants far too often. I have the lesson plans done and a general idea of what the week holds and what is required…however, I often do not have the same plans in place for my kids lives. My oldest is almost 12, the youngest almost 2. In between are almost 7 and 9. Within that spread there are a whole wealth of needs, and needs that require focus and intention and planning. Not fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants parenting.

We’ve been dealing with attitude around here lately, and I know that mine has not been stellar. There has been more name calling than normal, and more back talk. Just a general “attitude” that is not pleasant and is not honoring to one another or to God. Today I realized that much of it comes from living in a reactionary way…instead of setting up the focus for the day and the intention of the day, I’ve been reacting. Playing catch-up to all the activity instead of directing.

We can’t live that way with our kids. We’ve got to be intentional and we’ve got to be focused and we’ve got to pray. We can’t pray in a vague and distracted way, but we have to pray with intention and with insight and with vigor.

Part of my Monday ritual is now going to include this element of desiring focus and desiring to set the tone and the direction of the week. Every week is going to be busy with this many living together. I don’t know about you, but it is so easy to fall behind for me, and then I’m just frustrated and things start falling apart. Instead, my hope is to read from those who are thinking about how to raise Godly kids in a world that does not care about their integrity or their innocence…and my hope is to feed my thoughts to be focused and intentional. I need to see beyond what today’s needs are so that the preparation is there for the needs of next year, of next month…

I know that what I am saying is really common sense, especially as a Christian. Still, sometimes I need to say common sense things to myself and put it in writing. I need to remember that there is no substitute for prayer and discipline in seeking God and being intentional. Sometimes I need some help, and reading others’ thoughts helps me…I hope it helps you as well.

So, give me ideas on a title for Mondays….and suggestions on blogs to read for insights into raising kids with intention and focus and….most of all….hope and joy. (Whew, there’s a whole post right there!)  Here is what I read today….

Raising Kids in a Pornified Culture

Got the Grumpies?

What I want Adeline to Know

You’ll Find Your Way