I have an article I linked to on FaceBook, and saw that many friends shared as well. The article talks about the burden sometimes we moms feel when someone older tells us to treasure every moment with our kids. I thought the contrast between chronos time and kairos time was good. There are moments that are different….there are moments when we are aware of God’s reality that goes beyond the things we see and the mundane.
Still…something nagged at me about this article.
I’ve had the older women, and men, say that I should treasure every moment with my children. I’ve had the days when everything went wrong…the kids fought and cried and I felt like a lump, completely unmotivated. I’ve had the days with sick kids making a mess, in the car. On the floor. Everywhere.
I’ve had the days I wish I was doing something else.
Yet…I already feel that ache deep inside my core of how fast these days vanish. Madeleine changes before our eyes, it seems. Zachary is almost as tall as I am. There are days I feel a distance with Nate as he comes into his own. Sammy already seems to change by the moment between wanting to be held and killing zombies on Halo Reach with Zachary. Some days he wants me to lay by him on the bean bag while he kills zombies on Halo Reach. I’m not sure where that fits in.
The point is…I click my camera, I film, I record…I press these things into my mind and heart and try to make them permanent. I don’t want to lose what it feels like to have Madeleine delight in seeing me or Steve…absolutely delight that we are with her. I don’t want to lose what it feels like to be mom to little ones.
It is magical.
It is a glimmer of God’s delight in us.
I also can’t wait to see the men my boys become and the woman Madeleine becomes…because I think they are going to be amazing.
The mundane days are the foundation that is going to make those men and that woman. What happens now is important…it is not just getting through the day. My delight in them, I am realizing, teaches them to delight in themselves and who God has created them to be. They are not a burden…they are a wonder.
I’ll still be bummed when I have to clean up messes after them. I’ll still get frustrated when they fight or when they disobey. They’ll still have moments they annoy me. But, I think the challenge to treasure every moment is worth hearing. We can’t really fulfill it…but we can try. And when we are overwhelmed and frustrated we can try to remember that these are treasures that have been entrusted to us for a season. Snotty noses and all.
I really like the idea of when I am the older woman buying the young mom’s groceries and having them take them out to the car for her. I thought that was brilliant, and I hope I’m able to park at the store and do that a lot. That would be fantastic. For now, I’ll listen to those challenges from those mom’s who have gone before….and know that this ache I feel now is what they are feeling, but on the other side, without being able to still scoop up little ones and hold them tight before they grow too big. What a wonder this parenthood journey is.
The Small Rain 
As always, just beautiful Sarah.
LikeLike
I had very similar thoughts when reading that article and decided not to even share it. I don’t mind the reminders because I really need them! I do want to treasure every moment. So keep reminding me, old ladies! 😉
LikeLike
Hi there! I think your talking about the Carpe Diem article. I too, read that and my heart hurt for her. I have 3 kids, 14, 11, and 5 months ( this Thursday). And yes, there are rough moments, just today I spilled my LARGE cup of coffee in my car because I was trying to keep the baby from getting wet in the rain, and trying to keep the cat in so my 11 year old doesnt freak out, while racing to get my oldest to school on time. But as I sat there in the looooooong line to drop my son off, I sipped what was left of my coffee and wished I could go to school instead of being mom today. But all those elderly people have wisdom, enough wisdom to share that even my hectic morning should be treasured. Because I believe that they should be. I know one day ( very far away) I will remember this morning and wish I could be in this very sweet place, where my 14 yr old still needs a ride and my 11 yr old has sweet fear for my crazy cat, and my 5 month old is still in an infant seat and lets me kiss her all day! I could never compare my life to a job, or climbing a mountain. I’m in the most beautiful, messy, happy, hectic, fun, scary, blessed moment in my life! Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
Hi Vicki! Thanks for coming by, and for writing.
Thanks as well, Anna and Anita. (Anna…been praying for you…)
I have a friend that posted on FB (hope she’ll make an appearance here) that it is hard to savor the moments sometimes. That’s true….I know I can get caught up in trying to be aware, in trying to savor the moments, that I can make too much of it. At the end of a hectic day, or a morning like yours, Vicki…I still feel thankful. Not that I don’t blow it and scream at the kids or forget things (saw two things I forgot for Sammy’s class today!), but still there is this awareness that there is something more to all of this.
Sometimes I am so deeply struck by the awareness that we aren’t just getting through the days…this is supposed to be a journey about knowing God and raising our kids to know Him. About relationships and learning and wonder and all the craziness that makes up life. Struggle and pain are part of it as well.
I want to have that awareness as the backdrop to life. It doesn’t mean that I am always running around and commenting on everything the kids do, or trying to capture everything…it is just that backdrop that colors how we make it through each day. The awareness that this life is so quick, and not to be unaware of the glory in it…the wonder…the delight.
LikeLike
Beautiful. You just have to put it all in your heart and hold on tight to that. They do grow and change right before our eyes but they can stay forever young in our hearts. Thanks for sharing your insights.
LikeLike
Thanks, Carol!
LikeLike
Always great at writing Sarah, I so admire you. I am at a weird place with Ashley 17 and off to college soon and Laura 13 and going into High School next year. I miss when they were young, don’t get me wrong I was a stay at home mom and can related and even kept other peoples children because they had to work. I was never the career mom, I just wanted to be home with them and even 2 yrs ago when I lost my job and was home again I loved it. My girls to this day would rather me by home but now as I turned 47 yesterday I am working in day care where I am taking care of other mom’s children and see them grow and blossom and sometimes when they move up to new classes I look at them and say, I should have cherished the time with them.
I wish my children would sit in my lap again and I miss my dad loving on my kids. My kids have learned many life lessons in the past year, but I am grateful that I had moments when they were young. My girls talk to me and we are close. I look forward to the new chapter but will miss my Ashley, even thought she will be going off to find what God has in store for her. I know it will be Laura and I’s chance to get to know each other better, become closer and God had a big plan. I look back and wish I loved and cherished each moment because I will never have it back, and I think though the mess, yelling, fighting I just didn’t know. It just one of the stages and things you go thru. Love being reminded here about remembering those moments. I love my girls and hope I have taught them well and they blossom and go where God is sending them. Your children are growing up put I see you and Steve in them and you have taught them well. I think society makes us feel so guilty because of finances to be home and sometimes we feel like our husbands work so hard and we should help. We are helping with the future of the world because that is what our kids are.
Love you and your family and always enjoy reading your stuff, keep it up!
LikeLike
So great to see you on here, Mia!
I think for us, this time with Madeleine is easier because she was unexpected. It’s been 5 years since we have had a baby around and I am so aware of how tender this time is. She is such a delight…and I know that is part of it. I’ve had friends who have had terribly colicky children, and I know that was exhausting and challenging.
Still…we only get one shot at this time. I’m excited to see my boys as teenagers. I can’t imagine one going off to college! Ashley will be awesome though!
Thanks for coming in and commenting…again, so great to see you on here. Now we need to see each other in person!
LikeLike
Definely Sarah I so miss talking to you.
LikeLike
My little one is almost 10. I’ve been struck lately with the thought that half my time with her is over already and my heart hurts. Remembering that helps with the sassy days! Great thoughts Sarah. As always you say what I’ve been thinking.
LikeLike
Sarah…on the underside of these comments…from the Maiden-Aunt of kids who are now grown and whose Grandmother could not enjoy them at the stages she would most love…that big girl/big boy time. I am always glorying in reminding my nieces and nephew of what my mom would think of who they have become. It amazes me, that without her around to reinforce it, there are so many ways that they are hers…and would make her very proud and pleased. That is a lot of what I think of when I read these sorts of posts. Thanks for sharing as always!
LikeLike
Thanks Vicki and Amy!
Amy…it will be very interesting to see how much of my mom is evident in Miss Madeleine!!
LikeLike