Oh, it is that time of year again, isn’t it. The time to think back over the past year and decide what should be different in the coming year.
New Year’s Resolutions.
Ugh. I never do well with these. Yes, I would like to lose weight. About 40 pounds to be exact. I’ve even joined the gym. But I hate having that as a resolution for the coming year.
It sounds like my resolution is simply to grow up and be more responsible.
That’s not really what I want.
I realized tonight, as Steve is out with the boys to a movie and Madeleine is sleeping, that I cannot remember the last time I had a glass of wine and read a book with candles lit.
Candle light does something for my soul. Something good. As does music.
There has been far too little candlelight and music, and yes wine, this past year.
Don’t get me wrong. The last year has been truly wonderful. The introduction of Madeleine Jane to our lives has brought laughter and delight and marked this year as special. Still, I have found myself grumpy and stressed more often than need be.
So, my resolution for this coming year to is to be slightly less responsible and mature and to take time to feed my soul.
I truly do mean this. There are things that I have let slide that bring life to who I am. I flourish when I am using my brain, and yet I am lazy by nature and will find that I’ve played an hour of Bejewelled Blitz when I could have spent that hour with L’Engle or Berry or Bonnhoefer or….
So, this year I will read. By candlelight. Often.
I will ignore the laundry on evenings when the house is quiet and I might be able to use my brain in thinking deeply.
I will journal…and write stories in my journals of all the things my children do.
I will try to be less grumpy or stressed.
The major things that I would like to have change in the coming year are things I cannot simply muster up. I so want to be more patient and more loving in general. But I cannot simply “do” that. I need God to change me. More. A lot more.
So, along with candles and books….I want this year to be marked by God. I want to turn my focus to Him more solidly and more consistently. By His grace may this be a year that I know Him more, that I listen more intently and that I am changed to be more like Jesus.
There are so many more things I could add to my list of resolutions…but my candles are burning down and I don’t have much longer before Steve and the boys will be home, so I must go read and indulge in the quiet!
Happy (almost) New Year!!