Wife, Homeschool Mom. Walking through season of raising children and witnessing a mother's journey with dementia…all about faith and hope and challenge
Did you catch it, even just a whisper. Or did you catch a full shock of it?
The breath of hope.
Living, breathing hope.
Not the hope of stores that offer sales that bring people in droves, climbing over each other. Stomping each other and shoving each other in the desire to get ahead. Not the hope of bettering themselves and getting ahead. No. Not that hope.
Not the hope that some help is on the way from government or employment or education or…any other work of our hands.
No. Living hope.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you,5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. -1 Peter 1:3-9
Advent. Anticipation. We are on our way. Set your eyes toward Bethlehem.
God has broken in to our world. The Creator has come into our midst. Living Hope is ours.
Amazing. Indescribable.
Hope.
More than we can imagine.
And He did it in the most amazing way. We never could have dreamed this up. A stable. A young girl. A baby. Take the time to think about this. Take the time to focus, even just for a moment, on what this season is truly about. Take the time to realize what our hope is all about.
Too Much To Ask by Luci Shaw
It seemed too much to ask of one small virgin that she should stake shame against the will of God. All she had to hold to were those soft, inward flutterings and the remembered sting of a brief junction- spirit with flesh. who would think it more than a dream wish? an implausible, laughable defense.
And it seems much too much to ask me to be part of the different thing- God’s shocking, unorthodox, unheard of Thing to further heaven’s hopes and summon God’s glory.
You know those pictures I post of food and of when the house feels warm and cozy and clean? Those pictures of when I’ve been cooking our favorite meals?
Pictures like this
Pictures of when things fall into place and there is a peace that settles on the home. When the home feels more like a sanctuary…when it feels like I hope for it to feel and like I desire. A home that is inspired by articles like I find at Art House America.
I have to admit, though. There are times when things simply do not mesh.
There are times when I feel like I am running to stay ahead of the day, and I am just barely keeping up pace. I don’t have the lessons planned far enough ahead. I don’t have the groceries bought. I don’t have the meals planned. I don’t have on hand what I need. The kids are just enough more energetic than I am and it is keeping me on edge because it is highlighting the fact that I am falling short.
That is when the house looks more like this:
Yep. Not a lot of healthy, home cooked, green wonderful veggie-type food there. Meds. Flung to and fro, mixed in with all kinds of snacky type food.
Oh, and the sink…well…we’re really keeping up on the dishes today as well:
It actually looks much worse in person.
I would have taken a picture of the laundry room, but I had to stop and clean up the cat vomit and got distracted.
Here’s the thing. In the middle of this we have accomplished math lessons and reading, we have learned about Hittites and Canaanites, about the battle of Troy and about the Judges of Israel.
We have laughed heartily.
We’ve been to the grocery and the orthodontist and on the way sang loudly to TobyMac and Taylor Swift.
I rocked Maddie, after stepping over her toys that were scattered on the floor, and I sat for a few minutes holding her and just breathing her in. Just being with her…even though I didn’t have a few minutes. Because, even though I am far behind on duties; on lesson plans and menus and laundry, I am still in the middle of a life full of promise and hope and love.
We’ve been doing life and sometimes the chores get a bit sloppy because life gets backed up. I have the tendency to get edgy and grouchy when I know I am behind on the duties that I am responsible for, and I can take that out on the kids…because I know I am falling short. I desperately need a pause button so I can get caught up.
Those pause buttons are hard to find and the duties and the stress can continue to pile up. But we have to find those pauses…when we are rocking the babies, or listening to the laughter of the older kids…or looking at our kids sleep.
And then everyone else is still posting pictures of great meals and clean houses and clean smiling kids on Pinterest and Instagram and FaceBook. We’ve all seen the posts, and we’ve all read the blog articles telling us not to stress over them…but sometimes we need another reminder.
So here is another reminder.
Don’t stress.
Everyone has the back-up of dishes in their sink sometimes. Everyone’s cat, or dog, or kid, pukes on the floor at some point 😉
Everyone feels the need to hit the pause button…we just don’t always post that on Pinterest or FaceBook or Instagram all the time. We like to post the good side of us. And sometimes that makes it really tough for all the rest of us to say that we struggling and that we are hurting and that we are lonely…or disappointed…or …. whatever.
But we need to say it and we need to not swallow it down and try to just ignore it and shoulder on, because it just becomes bigger and harder to swallow down.
So…go ahead…post pictures of your dirty sink on Instagram and tell the world you need a day to pause! Recognize your limits!! Before they become something larger than they need to be.
Because we have an enemy that will take something small and twist it and turn it and poke at it and fester it until it becomes something it never needed to be. He will take a silly picture of someone enjoying life, posted on a social media, and make you feel less about yourself.
Listen…the successes and the joys of our friends do not diminish who we are…they simply are the joys of our friends. Let them be that, and rejoice with them. That’s all.
I promise to post some unflattering pictures of our life in the coming months 😉
For now…remember that the One who cares for us cares for us in the midst of the life we are in, right now. Not the life we hope for, or the life we wish we had. Not the life we hope to create.
Right now…with the promise that He is the One who is Faithful to bring about the life we hope to create. He is the One who can bring us to the place where we are loved and whole and well…and where we have peace even with dirty dishes and cats who vomit.
I was all set to write about Peterson’s book today, yet as things often happen I was struck by something else and need to think it through.
I have participated in a friend’s blog for about 7 years. This blog has been a place of debate, argument, discussion, deep prayer, friendship, controversy. His comments tend to number in the hundreds. People have engaged there…and we’ve formed a bit of community. The blog has focused on those who have been abused in the church. That is a hurting and sometimes volatile audience. There is reason for those feelings. We’ve had one person who has been through tremendous suffering and has now tried to bring to light an abusive leader…and has been frustrated by the lack of support. He is a strong personality and a passionate person, and we’ve been frustrated often that he has taken over the dialog. There were some pretty harsh words shared in a thread yesterday…a thread with over 300 comments. I read through them all last night and this morning…and kept wanting to have the words to interject that would ease the tension and bring some peace.
I didn’t have the words.
Through this journey the person has been frustrated by Christians and has found allies in those who do not believe. He has been frustrated with God.
I can understand that thinking. Why didn’t God stop Gosnell? 40 years of that horror. I think often of the children being abused. Right now. Why doesn’t God step in?
I do not have an answer that satisfies.
I am not surprised that this person on the blog is persistent to the point of obnoxious. He lived in a survival mode for a long time, I would guess…and I can imagine the need to have others pay attention. I think, from interactions with those who have faced abuse or neglect that there is almost an insatiable need for affirmation. The need to know that they are no longer that abused one or that neglected one…that they matter and that their cause matters. I get that.
Those are often the people who will get things done because they are tenacious and they are focused and passionate.
The flip side is that sometimes they can turn others off because they demand so much.
I remember when I spent a summer in Chicago with Jesus People, USA. I expected when I arrived that we would help every homeless person we encountered. I expected them to be Mother Teresa-ish. When we walked to the shelter my first day, I was shocked that they literally ignored people. Yes, literally. They would just keep on walking as homeless people asked for their help. When I asked about this, they explained that if they stopped and helped each person on the way they would never make it to the shelter. The shelter where they watched children of homeless women so the women could get jobs, and then get apartments…and get off the streets and find a new life. The shelter where they ministered to physical and spiritual and emotional needs.
None of that would happen if they stopped at each need.
They had to stay focused on where they were called and able to impact deeply a few people’s lives. This did not make them callous. It did not make the people they had to walk by unimportant or unnecessary. This made them wise.
The fact is we simply cannot help every single need we are faced with. We cannot.
We can pray. We can be compassionate and we can be kind (they never spoke a harsh word).
Maybe…maybe…if we are able to encounter those in our path with compassion and with grace we can ease some of the insatiable needs.
Maybe our gifting and our calling is to listen and to pray. That is not weak or unnecessary.
Maybe God is working in ways we simply cannot see. Maybe He is doing something that couldn’t be affected by eating the king with worms. That doesn’t mean we don’t still wish for immediate justice…except when we are the sinner.
There is another side, and this is the balance.
There are those who see a need and find a creative solution and do so with humility and grace that expands to joy and healing. Beating people into helping just makes people reluctant recruits. Doing something creative and healing…people long to be part of that. They long to see God work, and I think this is where we often find Him.
A friend posted this this morning and it fed my soul:
Maybe it is because I am often moved by music. Maybe it is because God so often moves through music. He unleashes our emotions in ways that does not happen through words alone.
More than that though. This one person that leads the music therapy at the hospital paid attention. She gave these children not only a voice, but also a means to express themselves.
She listened. And then God expanded.
I cannot help this person on the blog in the way he would hope. I do not have the finances to contribute, and I do not live where I can be a vocal and physical presence. I cannot go knock on the door of the abuser and say that he is wrong.
I can, however, listen and I can pray. Sometimes challenge needs to be spoken when those in need become more bully than advocate. Maybe if someone had listened and acted years ago that wouldn’t have happened, I don’t know.
I know…I’m rambling.
Here’s the thing, though. I do believe that God continues to work in miraculous ways in our midst. Often they are not the ways I would like. I wish that every child who was facing abuse would have a warring angel that would enter their home in that moment and defend them. I would rejoice in that.
God would rejoice in the abuser and the victim being healed.
Oh…there is so much here, and it is hard to be concise.
Today, though….we are faced with those who need to know they are not forgotten or unworthy or unnecessary. Today, in our midst, in our reach and in the path of our calling are those we can impact. We can listen…and we can act in some way. It starts with paying attention. Hearing the songs that could be sung. Acting in a way that inspires those around us to become involved when their talents match the needs.
The result is healing, hope and joy. Rejoicing as God works in the midst…in a quiet and mundane way, possibly, but working.
I’m not sure how this fleshes out for you, or even for me all the time. I know I fail at being aware so often.
Praying is not vanity, though. We begin by seeking God…pressing in and listening to His voice. Allowing Him to open our eyes to our gifting and our calling and the needs around us. Then acting with Spirit empowered actions. There is more that needs to be said….but sometimes it comes down to simplicity.
We will not be able to help every need. We will, however, be able to impact some…and God will expand our efforts.
“Paul’s letter to the Ephesians joins together what has been torn apart in our sin-wrecked world. He begins with an exuberant exploration of what Christians believe about God, and then, like a surgeon skillfully setting a compound fracture, `sets’ this belief in God into our behavior before God so that the bones – belief and behavior – knit together and heal.
Eugene H. Peterson. Practice Resurrection: A Conversation on Growing Up in Christ (Kindle Locations 370-372). Kindle Edition.
The last few weeks have felt hectic. I have not had the chance to read and process and post some thoughts on this second chapter in Peterson’s book. I have not been able to cook regular meals; fast food has dominated, and that is not like us. The schedule has not changed dramatically, but the busy-ness of healthy, active kids has seemed, well, more busy.
We have practices for two kids Tuesday nights and Thursday nights and Friday nights. We have games, usually two, every Saturday.
We have Biblestudy on Wednesday nights.
Church on Sundays.
Busy. Oh, and we had a birthday in there, with another party this weekend. The oldest boy turns 12 in just a couple weeks, and he had braces put on this past week.
I have had that feeling of running from place to place. This is the time for registering for tutorials and picking out curriculum for next year, so that has added to the hectic feel. The push of the urgency.
There are times for the urgent, but the urgent has to stop dominating. I feel tired and harried. Then I read the above paragraph from Peterson and my whole soul leaned in and there was that whisper of, “Yes…this is what I need to think on today.” Chapter two for Peterson is focused on how God is calling us…not directing or informing, but calling us, and the response is a walk. Not a pursuit of the urgent…a walk.
The items balanced in the Ephesians scales are God’s calling and human living: “I beg you,” writes Paul, “to walk (peripateo) worthy of the calling to which you have been called (kaleo).” When our walking and God’s calling are in balance, we are whole; we are living maturely, living responsively to God’s calling, living congruent with the way God calls us into being. Axios, worthy – mature, healthy, robust.
Eugene H. Peterson. Practice Resurrection: A Conversation on Growing Up in Christ (Kindle Locations 387-390). Kindle Edition.
We can understand neither God nor ourselves in any living, adequate, and mature way that is an impersonal, non-relational way. When God’s calling and our walking fit, we are growing up in Christ. God calls; we walk.
Eugene H. Peterson. Practice Resurrection: A Conversation on Growing Up in Christ (Kindle Locations 392-393). Kindle Edition.
We cannot ‘do’ this Christianity in a static or analytical way…we are called into a relationship and a journey. I needed to hear that this morning. In the midst of the busy-ness of life, I…and you…are called by the Living God to walk with Him. We are called through His Word…through the conversation with Him in the Bible and through the Holy Spirit. This is not some dead creed or some dead language…God speaks to us.
God speaks the decisive word that puts us on the way, the road, the path of life. The Hebrew word for Bible is Miqra, a noun formed from the verb “to call,” qara. The Bible is not a book to carry around and read for information on God, but a voice to listen to. I like that. This word of God that we name Bible, book, is not at root a word to be read and looked at and discussed. It is a word to be listened to and obeyed, a word that gets us going. Fundamentally, it is a call: God calls us.
Eugene H. Peterson. Practice Resurrection: A Conversation on Growing Up in Christ (Kindle Locations 407-410). Kindle Edition.
God’s word stirs us. There are other books which do that as well…I have been stirred reading Madeleine L’Engle, reading Frederick Buechner, reading…countless authors. Many times I am stirred by their writings because they are echoing the words of the Word. The Truth is the same and my Spirit attests to that. There is something different about the Bible, though. That Spirit-infested Word that conveys to us God’s call. Not only does it call us, but it identifies us…it gives us the understanding of our true identity. God’s children. God’s people. God’s called ones…
A call is not an impersonal cause that makes something happen in a mechanical way in obedience to the laws of physics, like a baseball that is launched by a swung bat knocking it out of the ballpark. Call comes into our ears, beckoning us into the future, bringing us into a way of life that has never been experienced in just this way before: a promise, a new thing, a blessing, our place in the new creation, a resurrection life.
Eugene H. Peterson. Practice Resurrection: A Conversation on Growing Up in Christ (Kindle Locations 413-416). Kindle Edition.
The call comes in the middle of the mediocrity, or the mundane, or the muck, or the mire….the middle of wherever we are. The call comes and changes everything…brings hope. Brings Resurrection life.
Life that is no longer dominated by the urgency of the mundane. Life instead that is infested by the Spirit of the Living God. Life that is informed by eternity and by the reality of the truly important and informed…not just an existence of jumping from one activity to another.
I needed to hear that this morning. As my little one is standing and waiting for me to come out and jump on the trampoline and my others are doing school work. Life is happening, but it is not just the marking off of our to-do list. Life is listening for that Call for today…to understand what that Resurrection life means in the midst of the busy-ness. How that call changes the mundane into something different. Something hopeful and life-filled.
There is more to this chapter, but for now that is enough for me to chew on for awhile. I need to let the reality of that call sink deeply into this frazzled soul.
The Small Rain 